Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
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If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
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I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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