Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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