I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
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