i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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