How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
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I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
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And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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