nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
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You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
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also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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