the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize