i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize