don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
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But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
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We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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