if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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