Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize