i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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