She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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