there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize