I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
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Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
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And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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