Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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