I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize