also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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