You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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