Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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