How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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