You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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