Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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