nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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