Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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