Sorry, I don't speak sober.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize