You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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