I think i peed on brittanys purse
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize