get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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