Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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