oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize