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This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
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