Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took my balls.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize