Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
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I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
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Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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