Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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