Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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