yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize