I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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