GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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