My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
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I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
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I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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