people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize