So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Just cropdusted the office
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Mom said you looked used
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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