I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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