Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize