I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
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