i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
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my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
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I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize