i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
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My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
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You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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