Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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