i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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