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Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
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